Iowa is once again making the “News of the Weird” all over the world. Yes, it’s a wonderful place full or wondrous people.Stretching a penny. A man was hit in the head by a train Saturday afternoon in Davenport as he reportedly tried to put a coin on the railroad tracks. He was struck by a ladder on a railcar near the end of the train.
Now in his young and exuberant childhood, even Rights Boy put a penny or two on the rails just to see what would happen. But the thing is, the trick works much better if you set it up before the train arrives.
Here, have one of mine. A man was arrested this week in Des Moines for throwing candy at a police officer. The cop was conducting a hit-and-run investigation at a convenience store when he noticed several M & M candies falling to the ground nearby. After finishing the investigation, he arrested Sean McGuire and charged him with assaulting a police officer.
McGuire was taken to Polk County Jail only after urinating all over the back of the squad car on the way.
Rights Boy remembers the good old days. If you threw some candy at a cop you would probably get your lights punched out. And if you whizzed in the patrol car, you would never be seen again.
On the other hand, Rights Boy wonders… What if you throw donuts at the cop…?
Third-best Elvis. Michael Reed has followed his dream – to mimic The King — and thought it would lead to a lucrative career. It didn’t. The self-proclaimed “third-best Elvis in the world,” has earned $5,000 annually with his gig, has a credit score of 250, and four credit cards with a total credit line of $24,500. So he decided to borrow $12,000 for plastic surgery in a last-ditch effort to make his dream solvent.
"Plastic surgery is not going to save a failing career," said Eugene Cherny, an Urbandale surgeon who altered Reed's face. "Nobody ever said that he'd look like Elvis. We never said we could make him a star."
Rights Boy is sympathetic. I’m just sure he’s a Hunka’ Hunka’ Burnin’ Love!
Water, water, everywhere. In March, it was reported that a vast array of pharmaceuticals - including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones - have been found in the drinking water supplies. You can find that report here. This sparked a new panic and further switch to bottled water.
But in April, Des Moines was awarded the top spot on the list of Best Cities for Clean Drinking Water by Forbes magazine. “It's got a high-quality product, after all." according to the report.
Rights Boy is so confused. Bottled water is best last month, tap water is best this month. Drink eight glasses per day last year, that’s too much this year… Isn’t science wonderful?
New tourist attraction. Speaking of clean water, operators of Iowa livestock confinements could stockpile manure adjacent to homes and as close as 400 feet to Iowa waterways under a proposal in the Iowa House. The manure piles can be higher than 25 feet tall and half the length of a football field.
Rights Boy thinks it’s a great idea for a new tourist attraction. Come see the piles! Taller than your house and the size of Arena Football! See it! Smell it! Live it or live with it!
